Parenting and Upbringing
Why parenting and parenting is so (emotionally) difficult.
From pregnancy to puberty, your child goes through all kinds of developmental stages, each of which can affect you in different ways. You become unsure if you are doing it right, feel overwhelmed by your child’s needs. Or you find it difficult to tolerate certain things and you become easily irritated – or angry, after which you may lash out verbally (or physically).
You wear yourself out trying to be the perfect parent and if you can’t, you feel like you’re failing. You are overprotective and find it difficult to give your child space. You fear that others will eventually find out that you are a bad parent. Your child always seems to push a button with you that throws you off balance.
Although it is very unpleasant for you to experience, the children suffer the most. Certainly in the first three years of life, it is very important for the further development of a child that his parents are as emotionally available as possible.
Nearly 17 percent of parents feel incompetent as educators and 12 percent are dissatisfied with their relationship with their child.
Our children are our biggest mirror
Of course, as a parent, you want the best for your child, and it is very sad and painful when it seems that you do not understand each other, your mutual contact does not go automatically. Whether it is your newborn baby, your toddler, young child, teenager or adolescent.
The good news is that it really can be done differently. It is also possible for you to restore and deepen the loving relationship with your child.
Fear, insecurity, guilt, shame, stress, anger, or emotional indifference: these are all survival mechanisms that you had to develop yourself in the first years of your life. They then protected you from painful experiences that you could not process.
Now that you are an adult, those emotions are still active in situations that are somehow similar to what you experienced before. It is therefore not surprising that this happens when you are confronted with the vulnerability and dependence of your child. The brain just needs to learn that survival is no longer necessary.
How can PRI help you?
With the help of PRI, you will see which emotions mainly come between you and your child. You will observe which situations with your child in your daily life cause those emotions to arise.
Next, you and your therapist will discover what old, repressed painful feelings lie beneath. In this way, step by step you separate your past from the present.
You can see your child again for who they really are and more closely match their true needs. In this way, you break the negative spiral, your loving relationship can be restored and develop further.
Not just a gift for you and your child, but for the whole family. Now and in the future, because once you can apply the PRI tools, you can use them for the rest of your life if necessary.
PRI taught me to be the best parent I can be. Perfection does not exist but knowing that I do everything I can, not burden my child with my pain and defences makes me very happy….for my child!