Freed from an eating addiction
All my life I have struggled with being overweight, losing and gaining pounds, going on a new diet and losing the pounds, but then suddenly gaining them all again. And underneath that huge disappointment in myself, why couldn’t I resist, why couldn’t I just be slim like the rest of the world, just eat one block of chocolate and put the bar away, why, why? It drove me crazy and desperate.
I really didn’t see myself as a stupid woman, had a very good job, was a high-level manager, flew around the world for work, no presentation or meeting with anyone was too much for me. So why didn’t I manage to stay slim, but more importantly, why didn’t I manage to avoid those eating attacks.
Invisible power
Like little devils out of a box they were there, so I still felt totally okay, nothing was wrong. And then suddenly, like a pop up in my head, M&Ms, or Tony Chocolonely, or BonBonBloc, and that pop up didn’t go away until I had given in to it. As if an invisible force sucked me towards it, and I had no choice. At times I truly felt like a junkie, no rest until I’d had my shot of chocolate. And the pounds just kept gaining. I didn’t want to diet anymore, I always believed that there had to be a real permanent solution somewhere. One that would go beyond a lifetime of resisting chocolate on willpower, but one that would deliver me from the underlying cause. Where did that come from anyway?
Finally…recognition
When I came into contact with PRI I knew, this is it, there was so much recognition. The book ‘Rediscovering the True Self’, I remember it well, when I read it, it was as if the whole book was written for me. Én the good news, here was the solution I always believed in, I couldn’t consciously do anything about it! Wow, I was so happy to read that. I then started doing PRI and discovered that food was a replacement for something I was missing in my life.
In my case that was about support, loving presence, warmth and often peace. Like all “narcotics,” the ingestion of chocolate gave me the illusion that I was getting this now, through that piece of chocolate. I was already aware that it was about a lack, but because PRI doesn’t just work with that knowledge but with the underlying feeling, and goes back to the past to really start feeling how I missed that in the beginning of my life, and how alone that felt, that allowed me to start disconnecting it from the feeling in the present.
When I consciously think about it, it is almost too crazy for words, yet, I can so recall it, the taste and feel of the chocolate, the peace and warmth it gave me. I say gave, because with PRI I freed myself from this bizarre illusion. In my case, it is often the case that I perceive that there is far too much coming at me that I cannot handle, and at such times eating chocolate gives me an outlet, peace. With PRI I have learned that this perception is not correct, and I unconsciously give it my own interpretation.
You too can do it…really!
Sure I may miss support sometimes, or warmth or peace, but I now know and feel one thing for sure, chocolate is definitely not going to give me that either. By working with PRI I have dismantled my own unconscious system and I am completely free of the violent impulses whereby I ‘had’ to eat. Occasionally a fit still comes along, but then I can apply the PRI steps and feel what is going on at that moment and what I am really up against, so that eating chocolate no longer has a function.
It is such an insane liberation. I grant that to everyone! Do you recognize this? Do you also struggle with an eating addiction? Then know that this is also possible for you. It is not always easy, but it is possible, do not hesitate but start now, you can do it, really!
Henny Venekamp (49)
Do you also have a difficult relationship with food? In March, Ingeborg Bosch’s new book will be published:
Live Lovingly – Free from Eating Problems.